The Bo Show

Men Who Sleep With Men, Not Gay?

Men who sleep with men… and they don’t consider themselves gay. This is still something I’m trying to wrap my brain around. See, I’m a 100% gay man. So, when you say a guy has sex with another guy, I naturally think he’s gay too. But, by doing this show, and chatting with all types of people about their sexual orientations… I’m starting to change the way I think.

I’ve recently attended a seminar on being polyamorous, plain and simple, being romantically or sexually involved with multiple partners at that same time. One of the women attending the meeting put something into perspective for me. She said she is a woman who has sex with women, but does not identify with being a lesbian or bisexual. She said she enjoys sex with women, but does not have emotional attachments to them. She continued by saying, she also enjoys sex with her boyfriend, and is completely emotionally attached to him – at that moment, I think I got “it.”

Just this weekend during a dinner party in Portland, Oregon, I met a man who identifies himself as straight. He is in a committed loving relationship with his girlfriend, but used to date and be sexual with men. He says he is a man who sleeps with men, but is not gay. I’m confused again.

Doesn’t gay, bisexual, straight describe your sexual orientation? So, if you have sexual relations with men and women, doesn’t that mean you’re sexually oriented to have sex with both… bisexual?

What do you think? Do you believe straight men can have sex with men and not be considered bi or gay?