The Bo Show

THE POKE

Jake - Contributing Writer
College Student - Junior

You know that cute guy you always see in the cafeteria. You know which one I’m talking about. He’s got that smile that makes you always feel like it’s for you; your eyes always meet and there’s that awkward but incredible stare down. He’s got those arms that seem to bulge with every movement he makes, and when he wears red… whoa. There’s only one problem… he’s straight.

Welcome to the story of my life.

Being gay in college is hard enough. Being gay at a Catholic college is even harder. Let me just give you a little background on my college. It’s a tiny school right outside of Philly. There’s about 1,500 people who go here… and everyone knows each other’s business. People’s lives are spent on Facebook and the most exciting thing to happen on campus is a class cancellation. So basically, when someone is gay on campus… EVERYONE knows! The other openly gay students can be counted on two hands at my school. Since this is a Catholic school, most people choose to stay in the closet…. which definitely leads to suspicion.

Since basically my whole school knows I’m gay, I always think that when a guy talks to me they are trying to be flirty. It’s not in a stereotypical macho guy’s nature to talk to the loud, obnoxious GAY celebrity gossip columnist… is it?! So when that muscle stud or that surfer guy strikes up a conversation with me, I develop a new crush almost instantly.

There was this one guy I saw the first day of school this year. He was pretty cute, not gorgeous, but definitely had an unusual quality that made him hot. I hadn’t had a chance to speak to him yet… but admiring him from a distance was doing it for me at the time. Then one day… there was interaction… I logged onto my Facebook, as it’s the highlight of my day to get new notifications, and I saw that blue link that read “1 NEW FRIEND REQUEST.” I quickly clicked the link and saw the face of that cute boy. I smiled at my computer screen almost as if I was smiling back to the tiny 72 x 72 picture of my crush. Of course, I accepted his request right away… and then I got to thinking. Why had this guy “friended” me? We’ve never had a conversation. Then, it clicked.

He must be gay. Straight guys don’t friend other guys on Facebook, much less guys they don’t even know. I know I only friend guys who I know, or I think are ridiculously attractive and want to stalk their pictures. The more I thought about it, the more my theory made sense. I’ve only seen this boy talking to girls and other openly gay or suspectively gay students. He’s got to be gay. So, without giving my fantasy another thought I made an even bolder move than cute boy’s friend request. I poked him. That’s right, I went there. I went to the ultimate level of Internet flirtation. I sent this shy, quiet, unusually attractive freshmen a poke.

I did not receive a poke back. To make matters worse, I later found out that the cute boy was in the majority of my classes… fantastic. Neither of us mentioned the poke, but we do have those moments where our eyes meet walking down the hallway. I flash a smile every time he walks by. He politely returns it. Is he straight or is he gay?!

I guess I will never know the answer to that question unless the boy wants to tell me. I’m not going to waste my time chasing after a boy who isn’t ready to come out… or isn’t even going to come out. But I’ll tell you this much, if he ever does poke me back, you can bet I’ll be flashing more than a smile his way.